2012 : A Shoeaholic was Born

2012 has been a great year for me. I had my UPS like I graduated on time, traveled abroad twice (I should post my super backlog Ho Chi Minh travelogue), I became a shoeaholic and I lost weight . On the other hand, I had my DOWNS. Sometimes I regret for not accepting the job offer that I worked hard for months, I did not apply to any other company in high hopes that I would get that job. Yes they did hire me but the process was long so my excitement died down and they want me to sign a 2 year contract so that my training fees would be free or else I need to pay for the training fees myself. I contemplated on the thought that will this job make me happy? I mean it is a routinary job so 2 years doing that would be boring. My dad gave me 5 years freedom before I comeback and takeover our family business so I thought that being stuck here for 2 years would be a loss.

Also, this year made me realize that I am not a strong person. My friend told me where did the strong and spoiled Clea go? I am so confused with my life right now. After graduation, I have some plans but I am not sure I am emotionally ready to explore the world on my own. I have been sheltered by my parents so being outside my comfort zone would be a new experience but at the same time, I want to be free. Free in a sense that I can do anything I want as long as its legal and moral. I want to learn how to be independent but I am afraid at the same time.

Most of the time, I don't understand myself anymore, I became someone that I don't like. I became clingy to my friends and I became emotionally weak. It's as if there is something missing in my life. A hole I need to fill in. Believe me, I did feel this before but I didn't mind it and I didn't take it seriously but now, it's been bothering me for months and I don't know how could I fill that emptiness inside me. I am blessed, yes I am and I thank God for that but you can't blame me since I am only human and humans do feel emptiness and loneliness even though they are blessed. Also, me being unemployed did not help me, I always text my friends, what are you doing and such. I am not like this before. I want to hangout with them always. I have not moved on with my life,I feel I am stuck in college while all of them moved on with their lives at a point I felt sad because I thought of myself as a burden to them. Enough with my emo shitness ok? I am trying my best to solve my personal issues one by one. My friend said it takes time to solve it and it can't be solved overnight. Sometimes, you need to just enjoy the moment and let your problems not bug you at that moment. I just want to thank my friends who stood by me during my dark days.

Moving on to my happy side! I want to present to you my 2012 shoe collection. I have never been a shoeaholic until this year. I buy shoes like 4 shoes in a year like that but this year has got to be my record! I bought 10 pairs of shoes + 2 flipflops in a span of 6 months. Even my dad said I need to stop buying, it's rare for him to say that because he rarely complains about my shopping expense.

Flats : Top (Left to Right): Bugis Street | Rubi | Thrifted || Bottom : Rubi | Schu

 

Heels: Lapis Lazuli | Mango | Bugis Street | Nine West | DKNY

 FlipFlops : Both from Ipanema

So here's my full shoe haul for the year 2012! YAY!

Sorry for the late post. This is my first post in 2013 and I know I have been super lazy lately. Hopefully, I can post another post, (lol) before January ends, may it be a review or OOTD. I wrote this on January 1 but published it 18 days later. What a lazy bummer right? Please forgive me ;__________;